wearetheweirdos:

1. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last nine months.
2. If you wear a chicken suit, no one thinks you’re kinky.
3. The uglier you are, the easier it is to get some.
4. They won’t think you’re a whore if you do the entire neighborhood.
5. You are guaranteed to get a little something in the sack.
6. It’s o.k. if you call your neighbors wife, an ugly witch.
7. It doesn’t matter if the kids hear you moaning.
8. You don’t have to compliment the person who gives you some.
9. It’s o.k. if you only have a “fun size” treat to offer.
10. If you don’t like what you get, you can always go next door.
11. You won’t get arrested if the kids touch your goodies.
12. It’s o.k. to brag about how much you got.